NSPCC warns about impact of coercive control on children and young people

New data from the NSPCC shows that the charity received almost 1,400 contacts from adults concerned about the impact of coercive control on children last year.

From 1 April 2022 to 31 March 2023, the NSPCC Helpline responded to 4,412 contacts from adults whose main concern was about children experiencing domestic abuse. Of those, 1,359 contacts specifically mentioned coercive and controlling behaviour.

Meanwhile, Childline delivered 1,096 counselling sessions with children and young people whose main concern was domestic abuse. In 221 counselling sessions, children specifically mentioned concerns about coercive and controlling behaviour.

The new analysis, which was supported by the Covid-19 support fund, shows that an average of 131 concerns were raised by adults and young people each month through the NSPCC Helpline and Childline.

The charity is highlighting these figures as schools are on summer holidays as they warn that children may be more exposed to coercive control outside of term time.

Domestic abuse can have a serious, harmful long-term impact on a child. The charity warned that some forms of domestic abuse, such as coercive control, can sometimes be overlooked or minimised.

Coercive control includes assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten a partner or ex-partner. Children whose parents or carers use or experience coercive and controlling behaviour within their own relationships can feel isolated and frightened and may have poor mental health as a result.

Children reached out to the charity for support after recognising domestic abuse and coercive control in their own family which left them with a feeling of hopelessness.

A 17-year-old girl who contacted Childline said: “I believe my dad matches all the criteria for narcissistic behaviour and coercive control towards my mum.

“My dad has been controlling my mum her whole life. I don’t want my little brother and sister to grow up with what it was like for me. My dad used to be physically abusive, but this has stopped. Now he calls us names, gaslights us, controls the finances and locks up parts of the house, like the kitchen, so that we aren’t allowed in.

“The police have been called but they ask us questions in front of my dad so no-one can say the real truth. I feel hopeless. Only we know the way he really is. I feel like we are my dad’s property once everyone else has gone away.’’

Children were officially recognised as victims of domestic abuse as part of the Domestic Abuse Act in January last year.

Since then, the NSPCC and other charities have been campaigning for better support for victims including increased provision of specialist support services for young people who have experienced or witnessed abuse.

Local domestic abuse services that are needed include:

• therapeutic support services
• Independent Domestic Violence and Abuse Advisors (IDVAs)
• helplines
• counselling services

An example of this includes the NSPCC’s Domestic Abuse Recovering Together (DART) programme, where trained specialists work with survivors of domestic abuse and their children to help get their lives back on track and help them to understand how this kind of abuse might affect their children.

Margaret*, who was abused by her partner for a number of years, said being referred to an NSPCC DART programme helped her and her children to rebuild their lives.

She said: “I had always known that part of my husband was controlling, but after we got married, he seemed to change. He became emotionally and psychologically abusive, threatening me and belittling me all the time…

“He didn’t like me wearing certain clothes or seeing my friends and he always said that he knew the best for me. Eight years into our marriage he started being physically abusive and the domestic violence started.

“I was worried about what our children had seen and how it might affect them. Both children were sullen and weren’t very good at articulating their feelings. They were very obedient and didn’t really behave like children at all; they played quietly and were very subdued. Both children took part in the NSPCC’s domestic abuse programme at our local centre.

“The activities the centre did with them gave them ample opportunity to speak about their feelings and come to terms with the domestic abuse that they’d witnessed and experienced.”

The NSPCC Helpline has specially trained advisors who can speak to the public if they are worried about a child who may be experiencing or witnessing domestic abuse – whether that is physical violence or coercive and controlling behaviour.

Paddi Vint, Development and Quality Manager for the Domestic Abuse Practice Advisor Team at the NSPCC Helpline, said: “It is worrying to know children are having to deal with coercive control, especially over the summer when they are away from teachers and other adults who often spot concerns and who they can turn to for support. 

“It is vital that everyone is aware of what coercive control can look like. This will mean that more of us can spot the signs that children and young people may be experiencing it and reach out with any concerns.

“We will continue to press the Government to improve the support available for child victims of abuse including by increasing the supply of high quality, specialist therapeutic and mental health support within local communities across the country.”

Anyone with any concerns about the welfare of a child can call the NSPCC Helpline on 0808 800 5000 or email help@nspcc.org.uk.

Children can contact Childline on 0800 1111 or visit childline.org.uk.

 

* All names and potentially identifying details have been changed to protect the identity of the child and/or adult involved.